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Thursday, December 30, 2004

Hey Caiying, you really want to change your webbie? I was thinking of changing mine also. Because I just realise I should not let so many people know about my webbie. What name should I put mine ah?
Whahahahahha~ Finally, I got the pressies for Junwei's X'mas. Whahahahaha~ I really hope he likes it =)
Haiz.. Things seems to be better now but then I think I mess it up previously so I guess things won't be the same as before.
Tomorrow is New Year Eve. Does anybody has any New Year Eve plans or New Year resolutions?
My plan is to meet up with Baby and then he is going to bring me go somewhere to count down and look at fireworks =) Erm.. my resolutions, I hope that my relationship with them will get even better and then I will stop thinking negative and irritate people =)
Off to work.. >.<

=>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<==>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<= @ 9:53 AM

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

My boss is not here yet. I don't know why but I am afraid of voicing my feeings in the blogs now as I think alot of people is seeing. They know how I feel and then they will try to avoid me and stuff like that.
But then if I don't voice it here, there is nobody to turn to. Because I know I am a nuisance and then I always think of negative stuff. I don't wish to bother them with what I think also becuase they will find it irritating. I know my fault but then I won't change for the better but only know how to whine~. No good.. no good..
Maybe Caiying is right, do what you think is right coz this is my life I cannot let others ruin it. I am doing my best to patch things up but if they still have the stone in their heart, I am sorry that I spoil their mood previously and I hope they can try to accept the me again. I must not be affected by how they think of me and how they treat me now.
I want to sleep >.<

=>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<==>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<= @ 10:05 AM

Friday, December 24, 2004

I don't know why. But I got this feeling that they have seen my blog and they know how negative my thinking is. They don't seem to be quite happy when they see me, I am tying to pull back the gap with them but it seems so far and difficult. Usually, when I sit beside them they will talk to me but then now it is so different. It is like there is a wall between us. No topics, no questions..
So COLD~... BrRrrrRRRrrr =/

=>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<==>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<= @ 11:00 AM

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Do you it is the truth that I am a great friend and the very best? I don't think so. If I am such a person, I won't be here alone and without a person or human that I can call Best friend? Good friend? or even a Close friend..
I think the % is only 50/50..

=>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<==>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<= @ 9:37 AM

The office is cold.. My heart is cold.. My brain is dead.. How I wish today is Friday. I think every week I look forward for NPAC as that is the only place that feel happy and I hope I don't stain nor spoil the relatonship with them. Because I will be left in a refridgerator and feel sad.
I think I really need to see a metal doctor. Or issit like what my brother says, I need attention? Whahahhaa.. Maybe I should start to think, what is the defination of friend?
I just don't feel like working today. I hope Peihui or Caiying will be online and they can reply me but then I think they will think that I am too negative to reply back also. I want to sing a song now.
Laaalalaaalalaaalalaallalaaalalalllalalalalalalalalalalalaaalalalaalalaalaal............... >.<

=>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<==>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<= @ 8:59 AM

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

I will aways be a passerby in peoples life... >.<

=>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<==>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<= @ 5:54 PM

Yep! I manage to appy leave =) Lucky I can apply, I don't think anyone will know or say unless Lay Lian says it out. I trust her, I think she know that it is my birthday. I don't want anybody to know and I don't want people to know because I know that people remember it only for awhile but after days, months and years, people will not remember and then I will feel rejected and sad. Maybe because I felt in this way all the while, therefore I am protecting myself now.
Honestly, if I were to quit. I would go quietly. Because nobody will remember me and then I belong to a world of my own. I arrive quietly, therefore I hope to go quietly =)
Kinda negative but much better then before... >.<

=>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<==>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<= @ 2:44 PM

Friday, December 17, 2004

I don't why but maybe my face look black that's why they are not talking to me. I fet so distant from them. I dont know how to put my feelings now into words. In the past when I never talk or what, they would ask. But now it is different maybe because that I always do it therefore they never ask anymore. I don't even know if I should go for the Swensens. I don't have the mood to go at all.
I think I am better off alone.. >.<

=>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<==>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<= @ 2:15 PM

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Sometimes those people that you think are the closest to you are the best people but come to think of it. Actually, those that are not close to you are those that treat you the best. Maybe those are strangers therefore they take pity of you and think you are harmless therefore they are good to you.
Don't know, I guess those long lost old friends/strangers are the people to relay on when you are down and out. But I don't know how to trust people now. I know that this mentality has already make me piss alot of people and those people also start to distant themselve away from me.
Anyway, I think I will get use to it when time comes.
Trust no one but yourself >.<

=>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<==>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<= @ 9:35 AM

Friday, December 10, 2004

I guess it have been one month plus since I last update my blog. I just came back from ANE that day. I find that the club its going downwards. The astro knowledge is not as good as last time but there is nobody to blame to as everybody has fault including me. If I learn that time maybe at least now I can teach something but I am the lousiest among them.
Nowsaday, I don't really trust people. I find that there is nobody in the world that is worth my trust. Sometimes when you are truthful to people and treat people well, they will take advantage of you and then never tell you the truth. So what is the point when you tell people the truth when they ask you about you private life as when you ask them back they will give you a false answer.
Sometimes I just hope that I can live on an island, without anybody living there and I can live my life alone. I hope I can be blind and deaf for the rest of my life..........

=>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<==>Life IS too PRofounD aNd CANNot Be SuM uP in MeRE WoRdS<= @ 9:32 AM