I have been thinking alot again. I find that life is very complicated. You never know who are your real friends and who are the one that always makes use of you.
Sometimes people look for you is because they need your help but you will also misunderstand that they are making use of you, so how sure can we be to distinguish who are your real friends?
I have a very horrible character, I think too much and always think of the negative side and hope to be treated well if I treat them well.
Sometimes I think back, those people that I regards them as my good friends and close friends, actually, they don't understand me at all. They don't know what I like and how my life is going on. They only know that I'm childish and needs attention. I think I know my purpose in life is for them to depend on me when they can't find their own good friends and best friends. I tried to keep in contact with those that I consider them as friends. I think after the incident when I was 17, the word good, close or best friend can never exist in my life anymore. To me now, everybody is my friend but only a few that I still talk to are consider as my friends that cares for me and I truly appreciate them that they still think and remember me.
I manage to change abit of my character as not to throw my temper so much and care so much for NPAC. I think I must start to cultivate a better character as not to probe into people's affair and not to think so much >.<